Rivalry Rescue

Etiquette advice from Melissa Leonard

With their close proximity and long history, Carmel and Mahopac should have a classic high-school rivalry. But after a 67-60 Mahopac win in basketball last fall, only one word could describe the ensuing 250-fan melee: ugly. Authorities seized knives, a metal bat, a lead pipe, marijuana, alcohol, and fireworks, and arrested three teens. Whatever happened to: It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game?

This debacle, my friends, goes beyond poor sportsmanship. In the hopes of regaining and keeping the peace in Putnam—and stopping Car-mel Superintendent Marilyn Terranova from closing future sporting events, as she’s proposed—I’d like to offer a few precautionary reminders. Anyone with painted chests and lead pipes, pay special attention:

It’s about the players, not the fans and parents. Don’t ruin their fun and put more pressure on the teams.

There is no need to chant insults—especially in the parking lot. Nah-Ni-Nah-Ni-Pooh-Pooh is so first grade.

Lead by example and don’t join the group mentality. If your friends want to be destructive and violent, stand up to them and tell them to knock it off.

Parents, sit down with your kids and talk about winning and losing. More importantly, if you’ve ever been guilty of aggressive taunting or jeering at a sports event, know that they could be learning such behavior from you.

Melissa Leonard is an etiquette coach and mother of two extremely well-behaved children in Harrison. Visit her website at www.establishyourselfny.com.